Dick Pick


1Living in the age of social media, smart phones and dating apps almost every woman of my generation is aware of the infamous “dick pic”. When a man you’ve been texting or talking to, without any instigation or prior warning, sends you a picture of his junk. Two things about this, gentlemen. First, never in the history of EVER has a photo of your penis sealed the deal. No woman has ever received a dick pic and then stated, “Well I wasn’t going to sleep with him, but now that he’s sent me this unsolicited photo of arguably the most hideous part of his body COUNT ME IN!!!!” Second, each time you send a dick pic, you’re basically sending us a photo of why the world sucks. It’s like you’re saying, “Here you go, ladies. Have this picture of the objectively ugly perpetrator, behind all of humanity’s worst moments. You’re welcome.”

No thank you.

While advances in technology have enabled men to so graciously share pictures of their junk with one quick push of a button, the mindset behind this phenomena is not new. That being, men think that their fifth appendage somehow grants them superiority. It’s the same mindset that allows for rape culture to flourish, the wage gap to go unchallenged, man-spreading, man-splaining and all of the rest of the tired patriarchal, bullshit tricks to remain in place.

Being under the age of 40 and in possession of a uterus, I was not surprised at all when I realized that Trump and the Republican Party had sent this horrific dick pic to America…


The Chernobyl of presidents and his army of complicit packing peanuts are trying to cram Judge Brett Kavanaugh down our throats, regardless of the credible allegation of sexual assault against him.

Dr. Christine Blasey Ford came forward to state that during high school, Kavanaugh attempted to rape her. And because the GOP has no issue with rapey sex monsters invading their party, this wasn’t even a blip on their radar. Sen. Orrin Hatch of the judiciary committee blew it off, stating “The judge who I know very, very well, is an honest man, said this didn’t happen”.  Oh well, then I guess that’s good enough. Right, Senator Hatch? Because HIS word is trust worthy, but HERS isn’t. Even though there are numerous people who state that she is an honest woman and would never lie about this, that doesn’t hold the same weight because she doesn’t have a penis.

This is why, when Ford first came forward the Republicans countered her claim by producing a letter signed by 65 women vouching for Kavanaugh’s character. For the record Republicans… Women who speak out against men are not credible per se, however women who vouch for men are. And what was even the point of this letter? I mean, I could produce one from 65 people stating that Ted Bundy didn’t murder them, does that mean he wasn’t guilty?

In fact, Dr. Blasey Ford is requesting that the FBI investigate her claim and the Republicans are denying her. Here’s the deal. Lying to the FBI is a crime. So if Ford is lying why WOULDN’T the Republicans want the FBI to look into this? Could it be because the doctor already passed a polygraph? Something that Kavanaugh hasn’t even offered to take. Could it be due to the fact that the GOP knows time is ticking and the midterm elections are coming up? I mean, who cares if another sexual predator sits on the highest court, so long as he has an “R” next to his name. Or could it be because the Senate Judiciary Committee looks like this…


No, these aren’t Shutter Stock photos for, “Extended male family member who calls the black boyfriend ‘colored’ during Christmas Dinner”. These are the actual, Republican committee members in charge of confirming Kavanaugh to the bench.

I mean, come the fuck on. The closest they have to minority representation is Ted Cruz, and the last time I checked, “Sweaty big toe who collects lamp shades made out of human flesh” wasn’t a protected class.

These are the LITERAL dicks that are picking yet ANOTHER dick, to interpret laws in a way that will protect even more dicks, from the consequences of being a dick. They don’t give a rat’s, flying ass if Kavanaugh assaulted Dr. Ford. He could come out tomorrow and admit that he did, and this bunch of sexist taints would vote for him anyway. Let’s stop playing the game Republicans. Just admit that rape and sexual assault aren’t deal breakers for you.

If the bloviating shit squib currently squatting in the White House isn’t evidence enough of that, may I also offer up Roy Moore, Jim Jordan and this guy…


Justice Clarence Thomas. Sexual predator and name dropped whenever the GOP claims, “We’re not racist. Some of our closest friends are black”.

I was ten years old when Anita Hill testified in front of congress. That was just about 25 years ago. I watched men in positions of power berate Ms. Hill. I watched them trash her good name and attempt to discredit her. I watched as she sat stoically and listened to them tell lies about her, TO HER FACE. And I’m about to watch it all happen again.

Because nothing has changed.

It doesn’t matter that we have statistical evidence showing that only 2% of sexual assault allegations are false. It’s of no consequence that Dr. Ford, just like Anita Hill, is a credible and successful woman with nothing to gain and everything to lose by coming forward. The dicks making this pick will slander her and insist she’s lying anyway. Because to them, assaulting a woman is OF NO CONSEQUENCE. The only thing they give a damn about is maintaining their power in our society, and ANY woman who dares to challenge them must be destroyed.

They will not even let this woman’s claim be investigated. They’re only begrudgingly allowing her to testify. I could spend hours explaining why women don’t come forward when an assault first happens, and what the prevalence of sexual misconduct is in our society. How crimes such as those Dr. Ford is accusing Kavanaugh of are treated differently than all other felonies. That the victimology of sexual abuse leads down numerous different paths that are personal and specific to each victim.

But why bother? Because we can’t even get past step one. That being, to LISTEN when a woman speaks.

This week the hashtag “Why I Didn’t Come Forward” trended on Twitter. The answer is in the question. Women don’t come forward, because we still need a hashtag to explain why we didn’t come forward. Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining, Republicans. You ARE engaged in a war on women.

So bring it on, boys. But just remember… The pussy is powerful.




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